Ah, “Babygirl” – the film that makes you question your life choices, especially the one where you decided to watch it in a theater full of strangers. Nicole Kidman stars as Romy, a CEO with a penchant for bathroom porn and a marriage that’s about as exciting as watching paint dry. Enter Samuel, the intern who looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks but somehow manages to be irresistible. Trailer below

This erotic thriller-comedy-drama-whatever-you-want-to-call-it is like a rollercoaster ride through the land of awkward encounters and questionable decisions. One minute you’re watching Romy stand against a wall like a naughty schoolgirl, the next you’re witnessing a Bible-reading scene that’ll make you snort-laugh in the most undignified manner. It’s the kind of film that makes you grateful for the darkness of the theater, lest your neighbors catch you laughing at the stupidity of the movie.

Kidman bares it all – literally and figuratively – in a performance that’s equal parts cringe-worthy and captivating. You’ll find yourself torn between wanting to give her a hug and a stern talking-to about workplace ethics. Meanwhile, Antonio Banderas is there… doing something. Directing a play about unhappy marriages? How subtle.

But before I get into the rest of the film, let’s discuss the ‘Milk scene’ that is making the rounds on the internet and was released for public consumption.

Picture this: Nicole Kidman, playing the powerful CEO Romy, is at a company party when her young intern Samuel (Harris Dickinson) decides to play bartender.

But instead of sending over a sophisticated cocktail or a glass of champagne, he opts for… a tall glass of milk. Now, you might think Romy would politely decline this bizarre offering. But no, our girl Romy locks eyes with Samuel and proceeds to chug the entire glass in one go, like she’s auditioning for a “Got Milk?” commercial. It’s a moment that’s simultaneously awkward, tense, and oddly sensual – kind of like watching someone eat a banana very slowly in a crowded room.

The scene is made even more intriguing by the fact that it’s based on a real-life incident experienced by the film’s director, Halina Reijn. Apparently, in her 30s, a much younger actor sent her a glass of milk at a bar. She drank it, he walked out, and voilà – cinematic history was born.

This milk moment serves as a turning point in Romy and Samuel’s relationship, setting the stage for their unconventional affair. It’s a prime example of how “Babygirl” manages to make even the most innocent of dairy products feel scandalous. Who knew milk could be so… titillating?

Alas….back to the film review.

The film’s attempts at depth – something about childhood cults and EMDR therapy – feel about as necessary as a screen door on a submarine. But who needs depth when you have Nicole Kidman sharing a cigarette with her goth son in a moment of profound mother-son bonding over questionable life choices?

In the end, “Babygirl” is like that weird dream you have after eating too many spicy Doritos before bed – confusing, slightly disturbing, farts of all kinds but oddly entertaining. Just remember, if you’re watching it in a theater, pray you didn’t bring your parents, nobody you know is in the theater, or a first date. Unless, of course, you enjoy the sweet taste of regret with your popcorn.