A lightly unhinged recap of everything going on right now
California’s Governor Race: The Primary Results Are In (Sort Of)
Well, the votes are being tallied in California’s gubernatorial primary, and in true Golden State fashion, it’s complicated. With 57% of the expected vote counted, Republican Steve Hilton leads the pack at 27%, with Democrat Xavier Becerra close behind at 26% and Tom Steyer sitting at 20%. Exciting! Nail-biting! Except… only about 23% of California voters actually showed up to cast ballots in this primary. So we have one-quarter of voters determining the fate of the largest state in the country. Democracy is fun.
Here’s the thing Republicans need to understand about California: the GOP hasn’t won a statewide race here since 2006, and even with a wide-open Democratic field and 61 candidates on the ballot, the math is still brutally unkind to the red team. Democrats are fired up, organized, and have the registration advantage that could fill a stadium — several stadiums, actually. Steve Hilton is a charming TV-friendly candidate, but the general election in November is going to feel less like a gubernatorial race and more like a nature documentary about an uphill mountain climb. In the snow. Barefoot. (More on shoes later.)
Shoe Me the Truth: Sara Jacobs, Marco Rubio, and the Hearing That Became a Comedy Special
I want to take a moment to defend California’s own Rep. Sara Jacobs, because some corners of the internet are saying she embarrassed herself at Wednesday’s House Foreign Affairs Committee hearing. I’d push back on that — hard.
Here’s what actually happened: After Secretary of State Rubio refused to answer who won the 2020 presidential election, Jacobs called him out directly, telling him the American people are “entitled to a Secretary of State who tells them the truth even when the president doesn’t want to hear it.” That is not embarrassing. That is a Congresswoman refusing to let a blatant evasion slide.
Now, the shoe thing. Back in December 2025, Trump reportedly fixated on his cabinet members’ footwear during a meeting, asking Rubio for his shoe size, and then later gifted him a pair of $145 Florsheim dress shoes. Photos circulated suggesting the shoes were, let’s say, generously sized. Jacobs worked this into her questioning, telling Rubio: “You couldn’t admit the shoes the president bought you were too big.”
Rubio’s response? “How can you see them? They’re way down here. We’re talking about shoes. Are you guys kidding me? I mean, is this the Foreign Affairs Committee or is this, like, a circus?”
Sir. You are the one who let the president measure your feet. You don’t get to call someone else’s committee a circus.
But here’s the part we shouldn’t let the shoe comedy bury: Jacobs was also pressing Rubio on the Iran conflict. The hearing was about the State Department’s budget, yes, but the subtext was a simple question — are we at war or not? Which brings me to my favorite political puzzle of the week…
A Quick Word on TDS
I’ll be honest — every time someone drops “TDS” into a conversation I laugh a little. Trump Derangement Syndrome is not a medical diagnosis. It does not appear in the DSM. No psychiatrist has ever scribbled it on a prescription pad. It was invented as a rhetorical escape hatch for moments exactly like Wednesday’s hearing — when someone asks a straightforward question and the other person would rather pathologize the asker than answer it.
Trump Derangement Syndrome is not a medical diagnosis. It does not appear in the DSM. No psychiatrist has ever scribbled it on a prescription pad.
Here’s a thought: if we’re going to start making up mental disorders for people we disagree with, maybe we pump the brakes on that entirely. Because there’s already a perfectly good, non-medical term for a person who cannot bring themselves to say who won a presidential election that was decided, certified, litigated 60+ times in court, and confirmed by their own party’s officials. That word is intellectually dishonest. No DSM entry required. Free of charge. Use it in good health.
Iran: The Military That Wasn’t There (Except When It Was)
So, back in April, the President had a very clear message about Iran’s military capabilities. On April 12, Trump told reporters: “Their military is destroyed. Their whole Navy is underwater. You know that 158 ships are gone. Their navy is gone. Most of their mine droppers are gone.” Gone! All of it! Done!
Fast forward to this week. Iran launched a missile and drone attack that hit Kuwait’s international airport, killing one person and wounding dozens more. The Revolutionary Guards, who presumably didn’t get the “completely destroyed” memo, were out here launching missiles at a U.S. ally.
Let me get this straight. The navy is gone, the air force is gone, the military is destroyed — and yet the attacks on Kuwait are ongoing? Iran is apparently operating an entire military with zero military. Truly remarkable logistics.
Iran is apparently operating an entire military with zero military. Truly remarkable logistics.
To be fair, Trump later appeared on a Fox News program and said, “We’ve actually left their military alone — we think their military is somewhat moderate.” Which directly contradicts the earlier “158 ships are gone” statement. So the answer to “are we at war?” seems to be: yes, no, mostly, sort of, it depends who’s asking and which hour of the day it is. Congress noticed — the House passed a resolution to limit Trump’s war powers in Iran, a fairly significant rebuke.
Sara Jacobs asked the right questions. The shoes were just a side dish.
60 Minutes and the Smell of Political Smoke
Speaking of institutions being rearranged for ambiguous reasons, let’s talk about CBS’s 60 Minutes. The show that has spent over 50 years holding power accountable is going through some changes. New executive producer Nick Bilton — a former tech reporter for the New York Times and documentary filmmaker — has no experience running a television news show. Neither does the new CBS News editor-in-chief Bari Weiss. Both were installed by the new Paramount Skydance ownership.
Longtime correspondent Scott Pelley confronted Bilton at a staff meeting, accusing Weiss of “murdering” 60 Minutes and calling both Weiss and Bilton unqualified for their roles. He also said Weiss “was brought in to kill” the show. The next day, Bilton fired Pelley for insubordination. Pelley didn’t go quietly — he said in a statement that “new management has instructed me to inject falsehoods and bias into a politically sensitive story.” That’s not a small allegation from a man who spent 37 years at CBS News.
To his credit, Bilton says he’s committed to editorial independence and will “prove it with the work.” But it smells like something is off. When a storied show with deep journalistic integrity starts losing its entire senior leadership — multiple correspondents, a 30-year executive producer — all at once, and the replacement has never run a news broadcast, you don’t need a journalism degree to sense that something other than “modernization” might be happening. The audience for 60 Minutes will be watching very closely. So will the rest of us.
We Are Paying the People Who Attacked Police Officers. Yes, Really.
I need to sit down for this one. Or actually I need to stand up because I cannot believe we’re here.
Roughly 400 people who benefited from Trump administration pardons after their involvement in the January 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol are currently seeking millions of dollars in taxpayer funds — because they were prosecuted for their criminal actions. Leaders of the Proud Boys are suing for $100 million alone.
To recap: these individuals stormed the Capitol, attacked police officers, injured more than 100 law enforcement members, caused millions in property damage — received presidential pardons — and are now asking the American taxpayer to compensate them for the inconvenience of having been arrested for it. This week, the Justice Department announced a $1.776 billion fund using taxpayer dollars to provide payouts for those who suffered “weaponization and lawfare” at the hands of the government.
We have lost our minds. Completely. There are bipartisan calls in Congress to stop this — legislation has been introduced to prohibit any federal funds from compensating January 6 rioters who assaulted law enforcement — but that this is even a conversation we’re having is a lot to process before lunch. The officers who defended the Capitol that day deserve better. The taxpayers who fund this government deserve better. We all do.
CUBS WIN! (A Small Miracle in Chicago)
Okay, let’s take a deep breath and talk about something wonderful, because the Chicago Cubs gave us a gift on Thursday night.
Down 6-1 heading into the ninth inning, the Cubs staged a stunning comeback against the Athletics, scoring four runs to win 7-6 — capped by Pete Crow-Armstrong’s bloop RBI single. The Cubs had managed only four hits through the first eight innings before exploding for seven hits in the ninth. Ian Happ homered and drove in three runs, the bullpen held on, and a team that had lost 14 of its last 17 games found a reason to believe again.
PCA, who earlier in the game had completely lost a ball in the lights — allowing an inside-the-park home run against him — redeemed himself completely with the walk-off. That’s baseball, baby. The ugliest sport and the most beautiful sport, sometimes in the same inning. The Giants come to Wrigley next. Let’s ride this energy.
By the Power of Grayskull: Masters of the Universe Opens TODAY
And finally, for those of us who grew up with action figures, Saturday morning cartoons, and the unshakeable belief that He-Man was the coolest thing ever created — today is the day.
Masters of the Universe opens in theaters right now, starring Nicholas Galitzine as Prince Adam/He-Man, Jared Leto as Skeletor, Camila Mendes as Teela, Idris Elba as Man-At-Arms, and Alison Brie as Evil-Lyn. That cast. That cast. Jared Leto playing Skeletor is either going to be the greatest thing that’s ever happened or the most unhinged performance in cinema history, and I am genuinely excited for either outcome.
And for those who’ve already seen early screenings — yes, the She-Ra tease is real. The film’s second post-credits scene features the debut of He-Man’s twin sister Adora as She-Ra, the Princess of Power, setting up what could be a full sequel. Director Travis Knight has confirmed that “in the fullness of time, if we’re lucky to tell more stories in this universe, She-Ra will play a huge part.”
For one afternoon, we get to be eight years old again. The world will still be complicated when we walk out of the theater — the navy that’s gone will still be attacking people, 60 Minutes will still be in chaos, and the Cubs will still have a complicated relationship with consistency. But for 141 minutes? By the Power of Grayskull.
Go see it. You’ve earned it.
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