thetechguychris Dailies, Tech, Uncategorized

Apple’s September Event: Where Orange Sherbert Dreams Go to Die and Black Takes a Holiday

Well folks, Apple just wrapped up their September 2025 keynote, and boy oh boy, did they deliver a colorful surprise – literally. Let me break down everything that happened today, starting with the elephant in the room: NO BLACK iPHONES Pro Phones. I repeat, NO BLACK. For the first time in iPhone history, Apple decided that black is so last decade.

The iPhone 17 Lineup: Now With 100% More Orange, 0% More Black

Apple unveiled four new models today: the iPhone 17, iPhone 17 Pro, iPhone 17 Pro Max, and the brand new, impossibly thin iPhone Air. But let’s talk about those Pro colors, shall we? The Pro models come in three finishes: silver, deep blue, and – wait for it – Cosmic Orange.

Now, I don’t know who in Apple’s marketing department had the audacity to pass on licensing “Orange Sherbert” from Baskin-Robbins, but “Cosmic Orange” sounds like something a 1970s sci-fi writer would name their spaceship. Seriously Apple, you could’ve had people saying “I’ll take the Orange Sherbert Pro Max, please” at every Apple Store. Marketing gold, wasted!

Center Stage: The Front Camera That Finally Grew a Brain

Remember how the front camera used to just… sit there? Well, Apple decided it was time for an upgrade. The new Center Stage front camera is iPhone’s first square front camera sensor, featuring an 18-megapixel resolution. It’s like they finally realized people take selfies and make video calls. Revolutionary thinking, Apple! Video below demonstrating how different it is.

iPhone 17 vs iPhone 16: What’s Actually New?

Here’s what’s changed from last year’s models:

Display & Battery Life

  • The iPhone 17 Pro models now boast significantly brighter displays – we’re talking peak brightness that’ll make your retinas question their life choices.
  • Battery life has gotten the glow-up we’ve all been waiting for, with the Pro models delivering what Apple calls “breakthrough battery life”
  • Always-on display is now standard across the lineup, because apparently we need to know the time even when we’re not looking at our phones

Camera System

  • 48MP Fusion Main camera (because 12MP is so 2024)
  • New 48MP Fusion Ultra Wide camera
  • The Pro models sport three 48-megapixel rear cameras plus a 12-megapixel 8x telephoto lens

Performance

  • Powered by the new A19 chip (regular models) and A19 Pro chip (Pro models)

Apple Watch Ultra 3: The Watch That Refuses to Die

Speaking of things that won’t quit, the Apple Watch Ultra 3 is here, and this beast now offers:

  • 42 hours of battery life in always-on mode (up from 36 hours on the Ultra 2)
  • In Low Power Mode, it can supposedly last even longer – perfect for those times when you’re lost in the wilderness but still need to track your heart rate
  • 5G cellular connectivity – because 4G is for peasants
  • Satellite communications – for when you’re so far off the grid that even your therapist can’t find you
  • New health features including hypertension notifications and a Sleep Score
  • A larger screen, because apparently the Ultra 2’s screen was just too dainty

The Bottom Line

So there you have it – Apple’s 2025 iPhone lineup in all its Cosmic Orange, black-less glory. The iPhone 17 Pro models are brighter, last longer, and come in a color that sounds like it belongs in a galaxy far, far away. The Apple Watch Ultra 3 is basically indestructible with its 42-hour battery life and satellite connectivity.

And somewhere in Cupertino, there’s probably a designer still crying over the rejected “Orange Sherbert” pitch. We feel you, unnamed hero. We feel you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go mourn the death of Space Black and prepare my wallet for the inevitable Cosmic Orange purchase. Because let’s be honest – we’re all going to buy it anyway.